It Puts the M in BMW.

BMW has been around in one incarnation or another for nigh on 100 years, and there is very good reason for that, they've always known what their customers have wanted. 


Bavarian Motor Works began its life fitting rotary engines to the light-weight aircraft used to maim and kill Allied soldiers in WW1, a tradition it re-instated under Hitlers 3rd Reich, powering many of the aircraft that pounded London to rubble during the blitz. 


However during the swing years between the wars, BMW began to produce full sized luxury sedans based on the legendary Austin 7 as well as motorcycles.


This decidedly German perseverance and determination has ensured BMW's place at the forefront of both the european luxury and performance markets. That and always picking the right side, when its convenient. 


BMW's party piece for the last 38 years has been it's legendary M-Division. Created in May of 1972 with a staff of eight, the M-Division's mission was to water down the companies race cars into ones that would be at home in the parking lot of your local supermarket. The approach was a great success, giving birth to the   incredible 3.0 CSL which had room in the boot for things, a backseat for children and would get you home like your pants were on fire. 


The equally storied BMW M1 was also a product of this mantra, but it was more watered down race car than everyday grocery getter. Sporting only two buckets in the front, a straight six in the back and a super car style body, it was very exclusive and very inconvenient for anything other than impressing a hot date with your ability destroy your wheels while en-route to a delicious meal consisting mostly of fondue.


When 1979 rolled around, the mantra was changed, and the M-Division began to beef up it's existing saloon cars by feeding the engines with garbage bags of crack cocaine. The first car to emerge from the M-Divisions head quarters in frankenstein's lab was the incredible first generation M5.


Unveiled at the 1984 Amsterdam Motor Show, the M5 was based on the  E28 5series, but on steroids, crack and many other hallucinogenic, mind altering drugs, making Amsterdam a fitting place for it to be unveiled. 


It had a re-worked and re-tuned version of the M-1's 3.5L straight 6 lurking under the bonnet and a specially tuned chassis to handle the beast up front. It was the fasted production saloon when it was released, and sparked a revolution in the european car world.


The idea of a hand-built performance saloon car was no new concept, but the fact that the hands building the M-Divisions performance saloons were in fact German hands, made the idea all that much more easy to stomach.


And stomach it the european car buyer did, they ate it up and asked for more, and as a result, here we stand 38 years later and the M-Division has sold more than 300,000 models, with the M3 alone.


Instead of diving with the rest of the automotive sales during the recent world-wide recession, M-Division sales actually increased by 50 per cent across the board. A very notable achievement,one that proves that no matter what the odds, BMW can overcome whatever the world throws at it, whether it be wars, communist states or the world's wallets being filled with lint and receipts, proving that nothing, no matter what the odds can beat a well built, over-powered automobile.  

The People's Car.

Interestingly enough, the hot hatchback was not built upon a foundation made of bricks and mortar, but one made of small, white and dimpled balls, which would seem unstable as foundations go, but if you asked Volkswagen i'm sure they'd recommend it. 

It's been 46 years since VW revolutionized the car market with it's seriously dependable, tough little hatchback, the Volkswagen Golf. The recipe was and is a simple one, so simple that it's been repeated hundreds of times by car makers the world over, but no one carmaker has been able to sink the fatherland's favorite son.

Four seats, decent storage and a quick, fuel sipping engine stuffed into a handsome small package is the Golf defined, and as much a VW would love to deny it, over the years their simple, delicious bratwurst has been pounded down into fat soaked, cheese dripping, stomach rupturing double quarter pounder that Ronald would be proud to call his own.

As a result of this middle aged paunch, the competition were running circle around the Golf, throwing feces, water balloons full of urine and the lot and the poor fat and balding Golf . VW took this turn of events very seriously and threw the Golf on a strict diet of lentils and rogaine, but not before sending it to the car wash, to scrub the stains of failure from its windows.

And so, in 2003 a back to the basics Golf emerged from the factories in it's finest track suit, with Mk5 stitched on to the breast.

Sadly though it wasn't much of an improvement as hot hatches go, sure it was the same, indestructible, eternal Volkswagen Golf, but it lacked the pomp and excitement of its great grandfather. 

Let me be clear in saying that the Golf has been an indestructible sales machine, with over 25 million built and sold around the world as of 2007, it's criticisms do not lie with its impeachable reputation as a affordable family hatch, but with its reputation as the daddy of all hot hatches.

VW's latest incarnation of the Golf GTI, the Mk6 has hit all of the nails on the head, its sleek sexy body and subtle GTI badging let people know that you're a bit serious but doesn't shout at them like the school yard bully with some serious self esteem issues. It's handsome, well equipped and it's 2 liter, 200 bhp turbo charged four pot won't leave you wanting for power, the interior trim is improved and the ride is said to be significantly quieter than the Mk5.

By investing in a GTI, you are not only investing in a well built family car, you are also investing in it's rich history and entering into a close knit family, I use the word invest with purpose, because Golf's have one of the best re-sale values on the market, built upon the trust of 46 years of impeccable build quality, and ready availability. 

Take my word for it; if it means anything to you, you won't have any trouble selling your Golf a few years down the road when you want to move on to something else, and what is even better is that you will get most of your original investment back.

Thats if you take good care of it, so keep a leash on those toddlers and try to keep their pudding eating contests away from your upholstery. 

A $60,000 Hyundai.

What would happen if you put the Mercedes S-Class, the BMW 7-Series, the Lexus LS and the Audi A8 in a horse stable in Korea, put all the keys in a fish bowl, opened the free bar, sat back and saw what happened?

Aside from countless dirty memories that each of the cars would no doubt cherish for the rest of their lives, some manner of illegitimate love child would most likely result from the carnal happenings. As it happens, it would look something like Hyundai's newest luxury sedan, and no i'm not talking about the Genesis.

The Korean auto makers new luxury sedan has been dubbed the Equus, and if you had trouble wrapping your mouth around that, it's Latin for Horse, but if that doesn't help don't worry to much over it, there is a large possibility that Hyundai will swap the nameplate for the western market.

Although unfamiliar to our western shores, the Equus has been a long standing institution in Korea and China, offering a more affordable and familiar luxury alternative to the German elite.

The Equus is newest flagship manifestation of Hyundai's re-born image as a car manufacturer, a re-birth that began with the aptly name Genesis. Focussing on a combination of luxury and build quality, Hyundai, aided by the market gaps created by collapse of the North American auto industry aimed it's well equipped sales weapon straight at the european luxury car giants.

The Equus begins where the Genesis left off, increasing the level of luxury along with the wheelbase (6-inches longer than it's little brother,) placing Hyundai in a league that is as unfamiliar to it, as it's badge is to the companies it will now be competing with, the German luxury aristocracy. Two different capacity choices of V8's will be given to get the horse galloping along, but it will need a little extra under the hood  to make it competitive with the other performance jockeys like Mercedes' AMG version of the S-Class.

The interior is dressed in the usual luxury ingredients of wood, aluminum and leather, with the top of the line model sporting Maybach style reclining rear seats, folding rear work tables, a glovebox ice chest for wine coolers and a rear flat-screen computer syster to watch re-runs of Dog The Bounty Hunter. Driver aids will include a park assist system, adaptive headlights, radar guided cruise control, a lane departure warning system and a collision warning system (a pricy name for what most people would call the combination of a brain, a steering wheel and good anti-lock brakes.)

It all sounds like delicious recipe until you sit down and really think about it, and then the souffle collapses. Every one of the driver aids that listed were pioneered by Mercedes with the iconic S-Class sedan, only they were pioneered in the early years of the last decade, and Mercedes and much of the competition have moved on to bigger and better things. It's a little bit like someone showing up to a party wearing baggy jeans, a backwards red Yankees cap and asking if anyone wants to listen to Rollin' by Limp Bizkut, they'll get laughed at, the promptly asked to leave.

In keeping with recent tradition, the Hyundai badge as we know it is tastefully absent from the front facia, instead it has been replaced with a crest and what appears to be an imitation of the winged lady of Rolls Royce fame, undoubtedly a misshapen homage to her later years, when she was diagnosed with leprosy.

With the Equus set to hit western shores by the late to end of this calender year, prices have been speculated from anywhere around $50, 000 mark to a stomach turning $90, 000. It will be no surprise if the American market has trouble swallowing that price considering of Hyundai's reputation as a cheap alternative at best, the luxury concept may be one to far gone for westerners to grasp.

For such a steep price tag, Hyundai better pray that it's little baby Equus grows into black beauty and not wither into an old, arthritic, half-lame, half-retarded donkey.

A GM By Any Other Name

The 2010 Pontiac G8 GXP was supposed to be the feather in Pontiacs cap, the proof that would solidify the brand as General Motors' performance division, until it wasn't. The recession hit GM like a freight train, except that GM could see the train coming for a long time, but it was too fat, bloated and useless to doing anything to help itself.

Now the automotive giant lives a comfy life in Barack Obama's back pocket, where it is on a strict diet that involves daily exercise, watching Dr. Phil and cutting everything from it's diet, including half of it's brand identity including Pontiac.

The G8 GXP was supposed to bring Pontiac back to its muscle bound roots, a web that stretches all the way back to the car that sparked the muscle car era, the GTO. A proud beginning, but somewhere on the yellow brick road, Pontiac lost its way and began producing vehicles like the Aztec; a car that even a blind person would refuse to go near; mostly because their seeing eye dog would have a seizure. It's horrible i know, but so was the Aztec.

Slowly but surely, starting with their first modern crack at the sport sedan, the G6 GTP, Pontiac was putting its muscle machine back on the rails, replacing the senile Grand Prix, which was a good thing, because the only thing Grand about it was the fat it had accumulated over it's life span.


All history aside, the G8 GXP represents that perfect American ballet dance between ludicrous power, sensible convenience and the  red light showdowns that make an American muscle car what it is. The engine bay is stuffed to bursting with the 361 bhp LS3 engine that normally lurks under the hood of the Corvette.

Mix that with the only six speed manual transmission offered in the G8 range and you've got a new job painting all of the grey pavement in your neighbourhood black. That means 0-60 in 4.7 seconds, that puts the G8 in some serious territory, playing with the luxury big boys like Mercedes, BMW and Audi. And you know what, it can play ball.

It's too bad then, that the cars interior looks like every other Pontiac's, consisting of the same mystery plastic that would look more at home as part of a trash can instead of a dashboard. But the fact that is only redeemed by some nice front buckets and the splashes of 'aluminum' that coat the interior.

 It's really a shame that Canada will never be graced by it's presence.

At least not as a Pontiac, GM does one thing better than most,  re-badging.  The G8 will put it's bow tie on and be re-born as the Chevrolet Lumina SS, which isn't really saying much.  The G8 is just a re-badged version of it's UK manifestation, the Vauxhall VX-R8. But that really isn't saying much either because the RX-R8 is just a re-badged version of it's Australian older brother, the Holden Commodore.

Confused yet?

So, I guess this means that in truth when I gave Pontiac the credit for the G8 GXP, I really meant Vauxhall, and by Vauxhall I mean Holden. With a family tree this overweight, it's no wonder that GM had to cut back on the Twinkies.

Hopefully it can keep the weight off; after all, Obama's back pocket is only so big.

Finally, a Focussed RS

Before we get started, I would like to take a moment of silence for the 2009 Ford Focus RS; how tragic it is that we in the North American market may never know your beautiful face.

Annoyingly somewhere out in the Atlantic some chap in a place called England is enjoying one of the most serious Ford Hatchbacks ever made,with real race pedigree and some seriously flared wheel arches, while we in North America are out in the rain, at least for the next couple of years.

The 2009 Ford Focus RS is the latest installment in a long line of seriously fast Ford hatches, which up until the last two incarnations was quite respectable, but the first Ford Focus RS and younger brother the Focus ST just couldn't quite deliver. They were held back by some serious torque steer issues and disappointing power plants, but Ford is back with a vengeance with the RS.

Just looking at it, you can tell it is serious, its all grilles, intakes and big wheels, the huge wheel flares make it look like its trying to burst out of its own skin, which is understandable when you consider the beast that lives under the hood. It's a five cylinder monster that puts out over 300bhp, in a front wheel drive hatchback! It's a recipe for disaster that includes you, your windshield and a tree, and trust me it isn't as delicious as it sounds.

It's widely acknowledge that the most power that a front wheel drive system can handle is around 250bhp, which makes sense considering the fact that the front wheels have to deal with both putting the power on the tarmac and making sure you don't hit something made of concrete.

Ford has thrown this theory out the window and done it anyway, taming all those wild horses with a trick differential and unique front suspension set up, both of which work in ways that only Jesus could understand, if he was some kind of mechanical engineer, but he wasn't, so it remains a mystery.

This huge power has been married to some big wheels, big suspension, good looks and a big trunk, going for groceries just got a lot more interesting. The interior sports serious racing buckets in the front, styling that matches the exterior and seating for four, looking for something to solve that mid-life crisis?

You'll have to wait a few years, but until then you can be content with this.

Don't worry, its natural to feel a little sick.

Jurassic Park, Ford Style.

The baddest pick up on the market to day is arguably Ford's latest creation, the 2010 F-150 SVT Raptor. If you've never heard of it, just imagine if an F-150 got hopped up on steroids and made aggressive love to it's prehistoric namesake and you'd get the idea of what this brain child of Ford's SVT truck division is all about.

For starters it's big, just over six inches wider than the stock F-150, in fact it's so wide that it has to run marker lights, usually only required on trucks with towing duelly's bringing up the rear. It's taller, a full 4 inches over the base model and, thanks to a serious suspension system that includes some big, beef-eating control arms and serious shocks by Fox Racing, developed especially for the Raptor. Throw in some serious BF Goodrich off road tires and an optional aggressive decal set, a one of a kind grille and it all comes together quite stunningly.

The serious look continues inside, Ford has really harnessed the essence of man, wrapping the seats in black and read leather, chroming all of the serious bits and making things chunky for tough man actions, like eating cows and playing football.

This is a great truck, it harnesses exactly what SVT trucks always have, tapping into a popular trend, and doing it up to the nines. Like the Lightening did before it with the street truck scene, the Raptor not only looks great, but it is a serious off-road machine capable of taking on the Paris-Dakar on Monday, ripping out some stumps Tuesdayand taking the misses out to dinner on Wednesday.

However, one question keeps nagging me, why this? Why now? Ford has taken a big gamble marketing a Truck with a base price of  $38, 000 in the U.S and $48, 000 in Canada to a market that already is scraping through the lint, buttons and old receipts at the bottom of their wallets as it is. Is there really room for another high performance, high priced version of a familiar automotive institution?

With no serious competition from it's full sized pick-up competition, its safe to say that Ford has the market all to itself with the Raptor, a fact that will play to it's advantage. With all things considered, the Raptor is a well rounded pick up that can rip your face off all weekend and still get you to work in comfort the rest of the week, and for that reason it just might be feasible.

Maybe.

Empfang!

Welcome to my world of tires and tarmac, of turbos and tachometers, of drivers and drive-trains, basically if it has four wheels it has a home here. This is your guide to all things new and exciting in the automotive world, new cars, new concepts and a good sprinkling of the exotic to keep things interesting. I'll keep my eyes posted on the ins and outs of the automotive world, if you'll keep your eyes posted on my blog.

Deal?


Thought so.